Monday, February 1, 2010

Breaking Through Betrayal: And Recovering the Peace Within

Holli Kenley, MA
Loving Healing Press (2009)
ISBN 9781615990092
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (1/10)

Historically we have seen people and even whole cultures devastated by the act of betrayal.  Written in a compassionate voice, "Breaking through Betrayal," addresses the different types of betrayal, including relationship, cultural, financial, political, and environmental.  The author Holli Kenley, MA, describes three categories of betrayal and explains how we are affected by each.  She developed a five-part recovery process to help the reader to heal.  This process is very interactive and involves using the exercises and activities that are at the end of each chapter. 

We cannot fully heal from being betrayed until we are able to get past it.  By not doing anything to deal with our pain, these feelings constantly reoccur forcing us to keep reliving the incident. The pain will not go away by itself.  This can cause us to develop other disorders and issues.  Reading this book will help you understand what you are feeling.  It will also help you understand what others, who have been devastated by betrayal, are experiencing.  This was really eye opening to me.  Having been seriously betrayed more than once in my life; I gained a great understanding of my actions and feelings in dealing with the pain.  I also got a better understanding of why others that I know have reacted like they have.  Especially when I have seen people act really irrationally.  An example of this would be a woman who stays with an abusive or unfaithful partner.

In addition to people who are suffering from having been betrayed, I believe that clinician's who work with these people should also read this book so that they can fully understand how a person is seriously affected by this issue, and they can also help their client's utilize the recovery process. 

We must work on our own recovery.  We cannot wait for the person who has wounded us to see things from our perspective and change for us.  It won't happen, and it allows someone else to be in control of our own healing.  We need to take responsibility for our healing. This can be done by following the steps outlined in this book and participating in the activities.  The author also recommends frequently reassessing our feelings to see if where we are at in the recovery process so that we know what steps to take next.  I highly recommend "Breaking Through Betrayal: And Recovering the Peace Within."

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